(in no particular order)

1. You've gotten an Al-related tattoo
2. You own at least 3 Al autographs
3. You've waited outside in the freezing cold by the stage door, against the wishes of security and against the Band's advice, to catch a glimpse of the guys
4. You have at least 3 Al CDs in your CD-changer
5. You own every single Al-bum
6. You often trade Al-related tv footage with your fellow AlHeads
7. Everytime you see/hear a guy named "Al", you immediately think of Weird Al
8. You've submitted at least 2 questions to Ask Al (4 if you subscribed to the Midnight Star)
9. You know the band's first and last names
10. You score pretty darn well on You Don't Know Al
11. You have a really old an unopened can of Spam in your house (for 'sentimental reasons')
12. You frequently have an Al song stuck in your head (besides having an implated chip)
13. Your implanted chip is programmable
14. You've written Al a fan letter (or you at least have an unsent one or a rough draft)
15. Red heart boxers have a special meaning for you
16. You've considered buying a 'cone-bra' (but not necessarily wearing it)
17. You hum "Like A Surgeon" whenever you're around doctors
18. You DON'T think that lenderhosen is gay
19. You think Coolio should CHILL OUT!
20. You think Jay Leno should CHILL OUT!
21. You petition CBS to bring The Weird AL Show (all 13 eps.) back on the air and/or that or you think that CBS should've let Al do whatever the heck he wanted
22. You call your local radio station and request an Al song, listen religously to that station for 2 weeks, then call them back in tears saying "WHERE IS MY AL?!?!?! I WANT MY AL!!!!"
23. You smile when you see a mop
24. You wonder if uhf stations still exist
25. You don't need to buy "Roadside America" to see if Al was telling the truth when he said that all of those places mentioned in "The Biggest Ball OF Twine In Minnesota" really do exist
26. You freak out if you see "Weird Al" spelled "Wierd Al"
27. You create some form of Al art