Smugglers, Singing, and My First Bar Brawl
For the longest time, I did not know who my parents were or where I belonged. I grew up on PokéPlanet and was raised by Pokémon smugglers, passed around from troupe to troupe. Some even had ties to Team Rocket and I met Giovanni a few times as a little girl. I learned all about various Pokémon and the seedy end of "trading" and business at an extremely early age. None of the smugglers really parented me, but since I was a help to their cover, I stayed with them but was left to fend for myself a good deal of the time. I either spent my time with the captive Pokémon (the "goods") or hiding behind doors at smuggler's meetings. While I learned how the business was done, I knew it was wrong and thus wasn't corrupted by it.
When I was 5 years old, I was with this one group that operated out of the woods near Mt. Moon. One day this Jigglypuff wandered into the camp, and rather than let the smugglers have it, I hid it. This Jigglypuff actually had 2 major problems: 1) it was mute and 2) it was trying to get home to its baby Igglybuffs. Because it was mute and because Pokémon don't speak human by nature, I found it very odd that I could understand what it was trying to tell me thru its feelings (I later learned that this was a Force trait). So I let it go back in the woods when no one was looking.
One day, while taking a walk in these same woods, I saw the Mother Jigglypuff and her babies being attacked. I used some sort of Force blast to help save them. That plus the fact I let the Mommy Jigglypuff go, made us all friends and I offered to let them stay with me in secret, which they did. During this time, I helped the Mommy Jigglypuff teach her young Igglybuffs to sing, since she being mute couldn't possibly do it all by herself. Besides, Igglybuffs need encouragement. I slept very well and they all evolved into Jigglypuffs quickly (they were a pretty strong batch to begin with).
Within a year, the younger ones were old enough to live on their own, and since people were beginning to catch on to us, I let them all go again. About a week after their departure, the smugglers discovered that I could actually be useful doing odd jobs, so they sent me to the inner city. While eating dinner and working on one of my laptops (I'm also a natural on the computer) in an underground bar, there was a huge fight (the first of my countless bar brawls). Being so small I was almost swept up in it, until all of a sudden we all fell asleep. I was the first to wake up, and when I did, I saw that one of the Jigglypuffs that I helped to raise (the eldest) had come to my rescue. It told me in Jigglypuffese that he had been elected to look out for me since I had helped them when they needed it most.
We decided to be best buds and the Jigglypuff even let me officially catch it (I used a Karaoke machine to defeat it). This was the Jigglypuff who would later become Seanpuff.
uploaded: 10/24/02; last updated: 01/30/03
Spacers and Singers
Within months of capturing [Seanpuff], I abandoned my smuggler guardians and let out on my own. We quickly got in with a few smugglers who worked in outer space. To a kid this sounded like the coolest thing (and [Seanpuff] didn't object either) so we hitched up with this guy who ran "military quippment" off-planet, but still within PokéSpace. I honed my trading, computer, and piloting skills during my 2 years with him.
Things started to heat up, especially after we learned he had been running guns, so we quietly crept away back to PokéPlanet. We starting doing whatever odd jobs we could manage. In between work, I mangaged to catch 2 more Jigglypuff (who would later become Ianpuff and Hamillpuff) and a Pikachu we named PeterPika (after Peter Peter Pumpkin Eater), all in the wild. During this time, my then-employer was arrested in a shakedown and we narrowly escaped.
Now on the run, we ran out of cash pretty quickly and essentially became homeless. During our homeless months, I had a radical idea to teach my 3 Jigglypuffs how to sing without putting people to sleep. While the blonde one, [Ianpuff], had no inclinations to sing, he did display an enthusiasm for acting; so I concentrated the singing efforts on [Seanpuff] and [Hamillpuff]. It took about seven months and a LOT of naps, but the 'Puffs & I had such a relationship that I never once was on the wrong end of a Jigglypuff's felt tip pen. PeterPika did however. :-)
By then, [Seanpuff] and [Hamillpuff] were getting to be really good singers, and we started to put together a little show. We worked carnivals and trashy bars. Because generally no one understands or appreciates Jigglypuffese when
spoken, Ianpuff decided to entertain the other Pokémon with his acting while the other 2 sang for the humans. Ianpuff also discovered an interest in business and began to keep track of our meager earnings. PeterPika, having dreadful stage fright, decided it was best for him to play watchdog since he is so extremely protective of me.
uploaded: 10/24/02; last updated: 01/30/03
Lounging Around?
About a month after we first started doing shows, we wound up in yet another bar and in yet another major bar brawl. In the fray, we managed to hide inside the bar's local lounge singer's dressing room. He too had a Jigglypuff, [Ewanpuff], and he obviously abused it. We quickly called him on it and he became irate, accusing us of trying to upstage him by having Pokémon sing instead of him.
We threatened to take his Jigglypuff to a Pokémon Center at great risk to us (for we were still on the run). Instead, he opted for a Pokémon battle for his Jigglypuff's freedom. PeterPika won against the singer's Oddish, who was also abused. Just as we won, the cops came to deal with the brawl and the singer bolted with his defeated Oddish. I grabbed [Ewanpuff] and we ran for our lives.
We disguised ourselves so we could take the Jigglypuff to the Pokémon Center, where after about a week, he was healthy again and officially ours! I think that this Jigglypuff developed a sort of crush on me and that's the
real reason why he razzes me. He also had a great affinity to entertain, and thus joined [Seanpuff] and [Hamillpuff] to form The Jigglypuff Singers.
From [Ewanpuff]'s descriptions to Officer Jenny, the lounge singer was arrested and charged with abuse and negligence to Pokémon. He was convicted and jailed, thus rendering his Oddish homeless and Masterless since abusive Masters have to give up their Pokémon. Rather than send Oddish to a friendless rehabilitation Pokémon Center, we decided that Oddish stay should with us especially since [Ewanpuff] already was.
The Oddish quickly recovered but doesn't like to battle much (which is why it hasn't really advanced or evolved) and is weary of strangers. He can still cry like a baby, and he also has a bad habit of "borrowing" vehicles and taking them on speedy joyrides. This is what quickly earned him the name of Hot ROddish.
uploaded: 10/24/02; last updated: 01/30/03
Freedom and Fighters
Good news: after just 3 local concerts with our trio, the Jigglypuff Singers, we finally had enough money to get off-planet.
Bad news: the cops (Officer Jennys) had finally caught up with us. Our fame/good reputation worked to our disadvantage.
I was able to explain my part in the stuff and they let me go...but not before the Pokémon had bravely strolled into the jail and the Jigglypuffs had attempted to sing everyone to sleep so I could escape. But because I had trained the Jigglypuffs to sing for show and not battle, they were unsuccessful. I explained to the Pokémon why I could no longer live as a fugitive, and the Jennys let me explain my dealings with the eariler space smugglers. They almost sent me to an orphange (I was only 9 at the time), but I convinced them otherwise, and finally we were allowed to leave the planet.
Before we left, we signed a big fat recording contract for the Jigglypuff Singers (including Ianpuff), in which we retain all rights and full control. We can always go back to PokéPlanet and record a few records for a quick few bucks. We also began training the Jigglypuffs for battle as well as for show. They are now formidable vocalists and fierce fighters...who can fully control the sleep part of their powers!
During one of our first official tours, we were playing yet another bar and yet again there was a brawl. But this time
everyone, including ourselves, got beaten by a single Jigglypuff. But it didn't beat us by singing, it beat us by...well...
beating us! Most Fighting Pokémon don't have a right hook or body slam that powerful!
We were suprised and honored that it wanted to
join us (even tho it beat the whole bar in under 95 seconds), but it did have one provision: it wanted to evolve into a Wigglytuff. So we used some of our music money to buy a Moon Stone and evolved it immediately. When we went out to celebrate our new friend and her new evolution at another bar, we got into
another fight- a
real tough steamer! We all ran for cover because it was
waaay beyond us, but Wigglytuff took care of the
whooole thing yet again!
That night, she became known to the universes as Wiggly-tough; many bars in Faraway Galaxy know about the Wiggly-tough. Although she's a formidable fighter, she prefers to stay home and hold the fort...
especially since I joined the Dimension Jumper Squad and we've gotten more enemies an' stuff. But when she's out and on the prowl with us
LOOK OUT!
uploaded: 10/24/02; last updated: 01/30/03
A D.J. eh? Do You Do Parties Too?
All of my life, I had had this weird feeling that there was more to me and my life than what I had been brought up to. I knew I was not a smuggler and that I was an orphan not native to the PokéPlanet (and yet I had a strong and definite connection with all of them). I also knew that my life was training me for something, something I had to do. I also felt that I had a power few knew of and even fewer felt.
I finally got the chance to find a few of the missing pieces when after a concert one night, I was approached by a pair of seedy-looking spacers who wore flightsuits with the initials "D.J." on them. I thought they either wanted me for some smuggling job or were the DJ's who were supposed to be playing the nearby club. Rather than talk, they pulled out a holorecorder, which played a conversation between one of their kind and one of the smuggler leaders who first took care of me. It was recorded when I was about 4 and they were discussing my future.
I didn't understand half of the stuff they were alluding to, but it was evident that my parents were members of the same team as these DJ guys and they had hidden me amoungst the Pokémon smugglers. They had come to claim me, the smugglers (true to form) had already discovered that I had the talent to be a great Pokémon Master and thus hid me, from my parents, near the forests surrounding Mt. Moon.
I as shocked of course, but what shocked me more was that these two DJ's offered to take me to their headquarters so I could learn more about my parents. They didn't know if they were dead or just missing, plus, it was apparently my destiny to join up with them. This last bit I wasn't so sure about, but I was anxious to learn more about my parents so I gathered the Pokémon and left with them in their modified Delorean. At headquarters, they allowed me to rest and have a look around the place. They explained to me in full what a DJ, Dimension Jumper, is and does and basically told me that I was to join up or else I'd never learn about my parents. I thought it was a dirty deal but joined anyway. I got my own modified Delorean (which I continue to modify), a serial number, and several other stuff. My first mission, my only one with a fellow DJ to guide me, was to jump into the Dimension that is home to Faraway Galaxy.
Upon entering Faraway Galaxy, that extra sense I had felt all of my life suddenly grew stronger. We headed for a planet called Coruscant where we were to meet the Jedi Council. Once there, the Council told me that my parents were Jedi Knights who had worked as Dimension Jumpers, and were the liasons between the Faraway Galaxy Dimension and the PokéSpace Dimension. Why they had hidden me amoungst strangers, they wouldn't tell me, but they did offer to train me as a member of the Jedi Order. I would be allowed to continue training my Pokémon and go on missions for the Dimension Jumpers as well.
It all sounded like a sound deal, but I
HATED the way the Jedi Council expected everyone to conform to their rigid and sometimes ridiculous rules and demands. For these reasons and more, I declined to join the Jedi Knights, but to this day they still ask me if I want to join, especially since I am, as the daughter of Jedi Knights, attuned to the Force. I didn't have a choice about being a Dimension Jumper however. Once you're in, you're in and I'd sort of been tricked into doing it (well,
every member is sort of tricked into doing it).
...and that's how our lives changed
completely. I was only 12 at the time.
uploaded: 10/25/02; last updated: 01/30/03
Voicing Opinions on Frogs
You know the myth about frogs getting into people's throats so that you can't speak? No myth. Ever wonder what the frog
does with your voice once they've incapacitated it? We found out the hard way.
The frog in question is the prized pet of a dead witch; it still hangs around her lair and still practices their craft of cloning voices. It does this (á la The Little Mermaid) for evil voice-overs. Y'know, throwing your voice into places and saying things you'd never say, and people remember it as you saying it (like mumbling when you're drunk or you promising something right before a fight)? That's it. Pesky little *&#@$&... Anyway, they target every single person in the world, and it just so happened I was next on the list when we arrived in that particular Dimension (I was only 12; it was one of my first missions and my
only mission to a Nonsense-verse, practical joke by one of my ex-supervisors). The Frog must've had a bad day cuz it really botched it up.
The Jigglypuffs and I were in the middle of our regular rehersals (mission or no mission: we rehearse) and I was going over soprano parts with them, when out of nowhere jumps the frog and down my throat he goes. The frog made the fatal error of attacking when its intended victim is able to fight back, and
boy did we fight back! All of the Pokémon and I struggled long and hard, but since the Jigglypuffs had been rehershing for a while, their singing voices were strained and ineffective in delivering a Sleep attack. The frog managed to escape...not with a
clone of my singing voice, but a chunk of the
actual thing! I couldn't sing anymore! I vowed revenge. We trailed him back to the lair and waited for the right opportunity.
When we counter-attacked, there was a
HUGE scuffle! Wiggly-tough fought as best she could, but for once she was knocked out in the first round and never had a chance. The frog kicked her into the Jigglypuffs, and collectively they were thrown across the room and into a large bookcase filled with glass vials -imagine several bowling balls hitting 10 times as many more bowling pins at the same time- which contained various potions and several cloned voices. When they broke, they mixed and were absorbed by the injured Pokémon. As a result, each of them permenantly inherited the cloned voices that they absorbed.
They also each received a their own unique name based on who's voice they got. Coincidentally :-) they're all celebrity voices: Seanpuff got Sean Connery's voice, Ianpuff got Ian McDiarmid's voice, Hamillpuff got Mark Hamill's voice, and Ewanpuff got Ewan McGregor's voice. Wiggly-tough didn't get a new name because we don't know which voice she got; she's never used it. Thankfully, the Jigglypuffs and Wiggly-tough can switch from their regular Pokémon voices to their new human ones at will. They can even sing using these voices if they wish, but only Ewanpuff has ever tried it.
Neither Hot ROddish nor PeterPika were affected by this (becuase they weren't thrown into the stuff) and were able to help me effectively finish the fight while the others were down and out. The Frog got away with my singing voice, unfortunately, but I
will get it back one of these days!!
uploaded: 10/25/02; last updated: 10/26/03
Into the Matrix
If our mission to the Nonsense-verse which cost me my singing voice was a practical joke, then our time in the home Matrix was an unqualified disaster. The DJS has their own version of the Internet which they use for themselves, but true to form, there is also access to many other internets of many other Dimensions as well. Naturally, several of the techie types have wanted to add connections to a Matrix Dimension for quite some time. I was slated to be part of a task force to establish a connection (literally and in two senses of the word), but we got seperated during a battle for Zion. I say *a* battle because we still have no idea in what version of the Matrix we had landed in.
I don't know what happened to the others (for all I know they could still be there or dead), but I was captured by the machines and put into the power plant. Since I had left all of my Pokémon except Jedichu back at the ranch, this was the first time I really had to work thru a situation on my own. I managed to meet several members of the current resistance movement and learned from their "Neo" how to manipulate the Matrix. Because of my abilities in the Force, I found them to be quite similar so I caught on quickly.
In addition to helping wage war against the machines, I also began to wage utter war with myself. Almost as soon as I entered the Matrix for the first time, I started "hearing voices". I thought I was going crazy for the longest time, until at last a connection to the DJS InterDimensionalNet (IDN) was established and the "voices" materialized. From a portal in Zion, I connected to my home network to check up on things and to my amazement, I found that a few "signatures" I had been using had suddenly decided to rebel against the system and strike out on their own. These sigs followed me around nonstop and darn near drove me crazy.
Because they originated in my head, they were still with me when I returned home. I set up an Operator's terminal (complete with multiple screens) back home and was able to finally get the sigs out of my head and into their own system- or shall I say, my old old laptop from back in my days with the Pokémon smugglers. They were pretty sore about being put into such an "ancient box". ;-) Eventually they overtook my old laptop and incorporated it into what they now call the ".sig bunker" so they can effectively follow me EVERYWHERE I GO that contains a computer. I quickly learned to loathe computers but it wasn't until they damn near set off a nuclear missle at Headquarters that they started to "behave" in a
more rational less destructive way. They also learned how to materialize into physical form so now they can plague me for extra fun and mayhem. We sometimes refer to them as our "Matrix Fallouts" due to their notorious beginnings.
Between the Pokémon, the sigs, and the other various..."things" (whatever the heck they all are) I've picked up in the past 2 years, I've begun to feel like both a lost turtle on the back of its shell and a mother at age 14.
uploaded: 10/26/03; last updated: 10/26/03
Jedichu and the PokéJedi Council
Upon first return to Coruscant after my time in the Matrix, I told the Jedi Council what had happened there, and they became more adamant than ever that I join with them. Again I refused, but they gave me a lightsaber since I was now well versed in combat training. I stayed on Coruscant just long enough to take Lightsabers 101 and 205. I wasn't used to working with such an involved weapon, but it slowly began to grow on me.
Within a month, the Jedi Council requested that I go to Tatooine to meet up with a someone who desperately needed passage back to the Council. I protested that I wasn't a taxi service, but since they
were training me (if only in lightsaber), they could order me around, at least a
little bit. So the Pokémon and I went to Tatooine. It was SUCH a mistake to leave my Pokémon out of their Pokéballs, to park the Jump-DMC on a dune outside of town, and to leave my lightsaber visible while not wearing the Jedi robes!!! On the way into the spaceport, we were quickly approached by these 2 guys dressed in black robes. They claimed to be Pokémon trainers and were curious about my batch, but they also commented about the lightsaber dangling from my belt.
I started to feel a little threatened and put all but Ewanpuff back into the Pokéballs and invited them to join us for lunch to talk Pokémon anyway, as they were the first people I'd encountered in this particular Dimension who knew anything about them. That's when they made their move. One of them, with the scariest tattoos I'd ever seen, pulled out a double-bladed lightsaber and proceeded to duel me. I'd never had a duel before (I was still learning how to clock laser bolts) and was nearly killed. Ewanpuff was grabbed and hushed by the other guy, whose face I never saw as it was hidden by a cowl. I used several moves I learned while in the Matrix and combined them with the Force for the first time, but while it was very impressive to these two guys, it was not enough to win the battle.
Just as it seemed the tattooed guy was going to kill me, out of nowhere comes this Pikachu (dressed in Jedi robes) and delivers my attackers the biggest Thundershock attack I'd ever seen! Moreso, the attack didn't effect Ewanpuff, who was able to escape from the cowled man's grip while he was being shocked. The Pikachu, who spoke Basic with a voice that sounded exactly like James Mason, said it was my contact and directed us to leave the planet immediately. The 2 guys started to follow us, and the Pikachu asked me to capture it so that it would be safe, so I did
*. We managed to give the two guys the slip and we escpaed. En route, I let the new Pikachu out and he explained that he was a Jedi Master and had been stranded on the planet for some time, unable to return to the PokéJedi Council. I'd never heard of them before, and were it not for his large Thundershock I would have thought he was kidding. Back on Coruscant again, we all went before the Jedi Council and I read them he royal riot act about the whole thing.
I was about to leave forever when the Jedi Pikachu told me that it had asked for me specifically because it knew of the Dimension Jumpers and had actually worked with them before. This caught my attention as the Jedi Council is the
only organization in any Dimension that knows the full story behind us (just these 12 Jedi). Turns out that long ago, the first D.J. to jump from the PokéDimension to the Star Wars Dimension had brought some Pokémon with it and had let them live in the galaxy. When this generation of Pokémon had children, they all were born with the ability to use the Force! Thus they were taken to the Jedi Council on Coruscant where they were kept in greater secrecy than the Dimension Jumpers! They became known as the PokéJedi, formed their own Council, and used the Dimension Jumpers to move in between their 2 home Dimensions.
The Jedi Pikachu took me to his PokéJedi Council to tell them what he had found out while stranded on Tatooine. Apparently there were some rogue Jedi or something who had discovered him and his powers and had been trailing him for quite some time. Every PokéJedi needed to be warned that their cover may be potentially blown, so I was enlisted to take this Pikachu back to PokéPlanet so he could warn their commerades there. One problem: I had had to officially capture it so it could safely flee our 2 attackers. It's not appropriate to have Jedi Masters in Pokéballs so I had to now officially release it, which I did. Now both Councils wanted me to continue to train as a Jedi Knight and again I refused, but since I'd be chauffering the Jedi Pikachu around for awhile, and it was obvious that I
really needed to continue the lightsaber training, we all came to an agreement that I would be its UNofficial Padawan. Likewise, I would also be its UNofficial Pokémon Master.
So with this new arragement, we headed home so the Pikachu, whom we nicknamed "Jedichu" (we don't know his real name), could warn the other PokéJedi. The Jigglypuffs and I recorded a few more albums and held an impromptu tour to give Jedichu the access and so we could make a few more quick bucks. After completing his mission, Jedichu opted to stay with us and has been ever since.
* Jedichu must have used a Force trick to keep all of my other Pokémon from being telelported home, becuase no matter what Dimension you're in, you cannot carry more than 6 Pokémon at a time- ones that have been captured by and use a Pokéball that is. Because Jedichu was officially
released from his (temporary) Pokéball, it is possible for me to have 7 Pokémon with me provided Jedichu is the 7th. We can also have volunteers join us from the ranch back home.
uploaded: 10/25/02; last updated: 10/26/03
Meanwhile Back at the Ranch...
When the tour was finished, we decided to take some time off from all of this jumping around, but the appartment set aside for us at DJS Headquarters were getting FAR too small for the 9 of us, plus the handful of groupies and other Pokémon we'd managed to gain along the way. Our "Matrix Fallouts" were also fast becoming restless and the old laptop I kept them in could often be seen bouncing around the room- an attempt to break free of the confined space. Since the DJS keeps abandonded and neglected planets within their protection to house long-time members, we opted to buy some land in one of their "Lodging Dimensions". We built a Pokémon Ranch for abused and abandoned Pokémon, which includes a Pokémon Center, which I sometimes allow other DJS Pokémon Trainers use for their own needs (at a fee of course). We also built an underground bunker which we use only in dire emergencies, but has since been taken over by the sigs and other electronic bits and bytes that followed us out of the Matrix.
We have several neighbors, most of whom we really don't socialize with. There *are* a few who've we've come to know quite well and a couple of them have joined us in various off-world adventures. Our best pal from our base planet is the Headless Horseman, and our best pal from the interdimensional internet is Darth Gumby.
While most of our land is devoted to the ranch, we each have our own seperate sections to ourselves:
- Seanpuff has a watchtower filled with his spy equippment and insisted on building a duct system throughout our ranch's compound to allow for easy access and quick escape
- Ianpuff insisted on a stage area so the Jigglypuff Singers can practice and he can perform. What he ended up with was an outdoor stadium because the other Ranch Pokémon wanted a place to throw parties and stuff
- Hamillpuff didn't ask for much other than having a bunkbed in his room and lots of floorspace on which to scatter his stuff
- Ewanpuff wanted a kitchen sink and a breadbox- goodness only knows what he does with the breadbox
- PeterPika and Hot ROddish wanted to plant a garden; PeterPika has a large pumpkin patch in which he spends most of his time, and Hot ROddish can often be seen amoungst the gardens, greenhouses, and groves with the other grass and flower Pokémon...when he's not in one of our 4 garages working on various vehicles that is his domain.
- Wiggly-tough insisted on a large gymnasium and as a result I've become a sort of unofficial Pokémon Gym Leader for the other DJS Pokémon Trainers. I say UNofficial cuz we don't have our own badge- yet. But if we do, Wiggly-tough would be the Official leader and not me.
- Jedichu has an oriental garden sanctuary which serves as his own private residence and training area for the two of us so I can continue to hone what Jedi skills I bother to learn
- Since our "fallouts" took over our emergency bunker, we've had to build a new one and guard it like mad
- The Headless Horseman has his own room in one of our guest houses near the pumpkin patch
There are various other buildings and rooms and stuff we don't like to talk about, in part cuz they're secret. ;-) Because of my owning of land and additional responsibilities (all you have to do is look at the size of the crowd I keep at the ranch) I was also promoted to the rank of First Lieutenant! Finally at long last, I could be transferred from my current division and placed under a supervisor with some sense (and without a vendetta) AND I get to boss people around! Ah, Sweet 16 indeed! :-D
uploaded: 10/26/03; last updated: 10/26/03
Artie's Orders
After 5 years of pure mayhem (is there really any other way to describe this whole unorganized chaos of a place?), I was no closer to finding my parents than when I was as a new recruit fighting to not join the Jedi Knights (still hadn't done it). I *was* however closer to finding out about my heritage because as it turns out, I had been in contact with my brother and sister since almost the first week at DJS! My older sister Dinah (whodda thought?) worked with a division of the Time Squads and had taken me under her wing when the Jedi Council had first refused to tell me more than they had. Our brother Lewis (I know my parents have a sense of humor) was a...well, I never could figure out what it was he did at DJS other than be a complete nuisance to me because he never stopped pestering me when we were roaming around Headquarters in between missions at the same time. The Pokémon (especially Hamillpuff and Ewanpuff) had always welcomed the new relief from being my personal percosious pesterers, but everyone had thought he had just had a crush on me. Turns out, Lewis had always known I was his sister even tho Dinah had been skeptical.
The Squad of course had known all along of the family connections but had "conveniently" never said anything about it. I read them another one of my now-infamous riot acts but all I got this time was another assignment to a region totally outside my training. Not even my current supervisor likes to talk about it. Let's just say that the same super with the vendetta played another practical joke on me (more like revenge really, still don't know what for- what did I ever do to him other than offer to wash the car when Hamillpuff accidentally splashed mud on it?) and switched my orders with someone else's. It took months to sort out the mess (and to retain my rank) but needless to say, that guy's in the brig now and Lewis won't ever let me forget the look on my face when I was first handed that assignment. As Artie the Rainbow Trout (a personal supervisor/chaperone assigned to us after the Nonsense-verse fiasco) would say: "He's your older brother and not your Pokémon. So
don't ignore him." (I know Artie has a sense of humor)
As a result, I often have to deal with the Pokémon at the ranch and my brother at Headquarters. Dinah says it's good for me, but the Regional Squad Leader (as he always has) continues to threaten us with extra duty in janitorial regulation and assignments to the Silent Films Dimensions (I *know* the DJS
doesn't have a sense of humor). So far we've come close only 12,000 times over the years, but that doesn't stop Ewanpuff from keeping a running tally which he claims is closer to 12,943 if not 12,944. I think Ewanpuff, Hamillpuff, Lewis, and Artie are conspiring against me. Honestly. And as usual, Dinah (being the oldest- I'm the youngest) does nothing about it. Intentionally I think...
uploaded: 10/26/03; last updated: 10/26/03
So You Wanna Be in Sith Wars?
Time has a strange way of passing in regards to the DJS. You see, it was years for us, but only months if not weeks for them. Since then, things have equalized somewhat. But the point is that around the time during which I was doing prepwork for my Matrix assignment, I had met Darth Gumby in a chat room and we all became friends. From time to time, I'm allowed to go on Scouting Duties to new, underdeveloped, ignored, or backwater dimensions. Sometimes all of the above. But in this case, I merely slipped into this one just long enough to place a sensor that would alert us to any potentially interesting activity and I placed in in DG's dimension.
Within months, it went off and within a single jump, we had entered what DG's Dimension called the Sith Wars. Needless to say, they've been quite an adventure and we've even aquired an extra satellite base at an abandoned unrelated newsgroup. This is the second computer-based Dimension I've been involved with (this is Usenet we're talking about after all) and I must say that I
used to think that the DJS was nuts. Now I think they're relatively sane by comparison. :-) We still hang out there anyway. I think the idea of mayhem has finally started to grow on me. Watch out!!! :-D
uploaded: 10/26/03; last updated: 10/26/03
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